


Comfort

by ttfan111robstar1



Series: Daddy's Boy [1]
Category: Glee
Genre: ABDL, Diapers, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, M/M, Non-Sexual Age Play, Pacifier - Freeform, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-23
Updated: 2019-11-23
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:34:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21537541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ttfan111robstar1/pseuds/ttfan111robstar1
Summary: Blaine has a bad day. Kurt knows how to make it better.
Relationships: Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel
Series: Daddy's Boy [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1553002
Comments: 1
Kudos: 35





	Comfort

**Author's Note:**

  * For [theworldwhispers](https://archiveofourown.org/users/theworldwhispers/gifts), [rdm_ation](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rdm_ation/gifts).



> Hey guys! I'm so honored to be here writing for you! This is my first Glee fanfic (although I've been watching the show for a long time) and my first posted fic on AO3 so please be kind, but I've been on fanfiction under this username for many years. Obviously this fic contains Age Play, ABDL Themes and infantilism so if that's not your cup of tea, don't read it. I hope you all enjoy this story!
> 
> This fic is for Rdm_ation and theworldwhispers. I haven't had the pleasure of meeting you guys, but you have given me many hours of joy with your glee ageplay fics. This one's for you.

_Thunk._

The sound of a backpack scraping the wall and hitting the floor with uninhibited abandon echoed through the small apartment. Blaine rolled his neck, trying to make himself relax after what had to have been the most stressful day in his life. A first audition, a callback for a different show that had a theatre across town from the first, and a lunch meeting between the two with some old friends had him reeling. He’d barely slept the night before, too keyed up to sleep. But now, with the days marathon of events crashing down around him, the exhaustion was creeping in just as the tension left.  
  
His heart was still pounding from the earlier anxiety. He needed to calm down now. He moved over to the couch and sat down, trying to catch his breath.  
  
_In, out. In, out. In, out.  
  
_He said it in his head like a mantra. It always tended to help him when he was anxious before a test in school or before a big audition. But right now it didn’t seem to be helpful.  
  
Footsteps sounded from the kitchen into the living room. “Blaine?”  
  
A wave of relief swept through him, heavier than God. Kurt’s voice hit his ears and soothed him like wine to his soul. Blaine wanted to open his eyes, but he needed to focus on breathing.  
  
“Hi Daddy.”  
  
The word slipped out naturally. They’ve been here before, many times. Blaine panicked and slipping into his baby headspace. He tended to not even realize it at first, and that was dangerous territory. If he didn’t realize if he was slipping, that held potential disaster. In his baby headspace, Blaine was absolutely diaper dependent. He tended to get so caught up in his emotions that physical sensations went out the window, including when his bladder was telling him to use the bathroom. Kurt knew he needed to act quickly, and walked over to his husband.  
  
“Hi baby. Daddy is very happy to see you.” He said, hugging Blaine. “Let’s get you changed now, and you can tell Daddy all about your day. How’s that?”  
  
Blaine nodded, eyes still closed. Kurt took his hand to lead him, as he often did when his husband was little. Blaine didn’t bother to open his eyes. The voice of his little self always echoed one sentiment on a loop in his head and so he never worried, because he knew that Daddy loved him and would never let him get hurt, or he’d hurt himself trying to fix it.  
  
Kurt led his husband to their bedroom, where a lower-setting, more rustic-looking dresser was used for a changing table. The blue changing mat already rested atop it. “Hop up, baby boy.” Kurt said as he got into one of the drawers for one of Blaine’s thicker diapers and something for him to wear. Blaine finally opened his eyes in order to get up on it safely, before staring at the ceiling with a blank look on his face as his thumb snuck it’s way to his mouth.  
  
Kurt noticed immediately, and gently pulled it out, replacing it with a pacifier. “No, baby. Daddy doesn’t want you to have an owie thumb from sucking it too much, okay?” He said gently.  
  
Blaine gave a half nod, not seeming to hear him.  
  
Kurt wasted no time in unbuckling his husband’s belt, and pulling down his pants and boxers. Normally this would be due to a heat of the moment make out session turning into something more intimate, but Kurt never crossed that line when Blaine was in his little headspace. It was very obvious to him from the beginning that the baby he was now beginning to change into a diaper didn’t have a grown thought in his head.  
  
Kurt had stumbled upon this part of him completely by accident, and a little piece at a time. He’d noticed that one night when they’d been watching a movie on a date, Blaine had begun to suck his thumb when he’d gotten tired. He’d thought it adorable, a sweet little quirk that simply made Blaine more desirable. Another time, he’d gone to visit Blaine and found him coloring in a large coloring book, and thought it a simple hobby. Much later after that, when they’d spent an evening together in one another’s arms, Kurt had woken up to find that Blaine had wet the bed, and listened to him stammer for a solid two minutes before he was able to choke out that sometimes that happened when he got extremely anxious over something (and it had been regionals _and_ finals that week).  
  
But the last clue had been the most telling. Blaine had had a breakdown one night, his anxiety so great that he couldn’t make himself speak about it. He’d sobbed in gasping breaths as Kurt held him, talking to him lovingly the entire time. And when he’d finally fallen asleep leaning against Kurt’s chest, he’d sighed and whispered one word: “Daddy…”

That one word had put all the pieces into place for Kurt, and he’d suddenly understood there was something more going on here than what possibly either of them were aware of. He’d switched his phone to night mode so as to not wake Blaine, and started looking online. Age Play, Infantilism, DDLB. It was the names given to all of the behaviors Blaine had displayed, falling under those umbrella terms. He was a boy who had simply never grown up all the way. Kurt knew then that he had a choice to make. He could take care of Blaine, or he could choose not to. He knew Blaine might not even be aware of what all those things meant, or that Blaine might not want to acknowledge it in himself if he did for fear of what Kurt might think. But Kurt loved Blaine completely, and so the choice wasn’t hard to make.  
  
When Blaine had woken up after wetting the bed that night, and sobbing and stammering out apologies for that and what he had said the night before, Kurt silenced it all with a finger to his boyfriend’s lips, saying: “Hush, baby. Daddy loves you just the way you are, and it’s okay if you have accidents. Daddy will take care of them if you have them, okay?”  
  
Blaine had cried again, but that time in relief that Kurt wasn’t leaving him and somewhat in confusion. But as Kurt told him what he’d learned the night before, the tears had dammed themselves.  
  
“You don’t think I’m weird?” Blaine had squeaked.  
  
“No, baby. You’re not weird. You’re just you, and I love all of you. This is just a new part of you I get to love. Will you let me take care of you?” Kurt had asked.  
  
Blaine had nodded, and that had been that.  
  
There had been a few conversations on the subject regarding rules, boundaries, and what was acceptable in regards to punishments, but for the most part they both moved on instinct, and it seemed to work well. They’d learned alongside one another about each other and themselves, and it had brought them closer together.

Now, it was a part of their lives. It cropped up more days than not in the week, but very few times was it as severe as Kurt knew it would be right now. Blaine already seeming to dissociate was a clear indicator of that, and Kurt rushed to get him diapered in case he had an accident.  
  
Thankfully, that moment never came. Kurt managed to get Blaine into a diaper with little fuss and no accidents. That done, he took a moment to breathe before pulling out a Blue footed sleeper to match the pacifier in Blaine’s mouth. He didn’t bother to ask Blaine to help him with getting dressed, because he knew his baby was already too far gone to be of assistance to him.  
  
When Kurt had managed to get the sleeper most of the way on, Kurt spoke to his baby. “Blaine, can you sit up for Daddy, baby? Daddy wants to zip up your Jammies so you don’t get cold, baby.” He said in a crooning tone. Blaine tended to hear him better in this state if he spoke gently. Sure enough, with a bit of assistance from Kurt, Blaine sat up. His eyes were still glazed over, but he was paying attention, and that was good enough.  
  
Kurt zipped him up with ease. “Such a good boy for Daddy, baby.” He cooed, giving Blaine a kiss. Often times when Blaine was out of it, praise and a kiss tended to work well to bring him back. That seemed to be the case today, as Blaine blinked slowly, and then smiled from behind his pacifier.  
  
“There’s my baby!” Kurt cooed, nuzzling him gently. “Daddy missed you today.” He said.  
  
Blaine giggled. He spoke, which was a good indicator of his emotions. “Me miss Daddy too!” He babbled.

Kurt gave him a kiss. “Are you hungry, baby? Daddy can make you something yummy to eat. Anything you want.”  
  
“Anyting?” Blaine asked, perking up.

“Yes, baby. Whatever you want.” Kurt smiled.  
  
“Sketti?” He asked.  
  
“With bolognese? Yes.” Kurt smiled.  
  
Blaine grinned happily and clapped his hands. “Sketti!”  
  
“And if you’re a good boy for me, Daddy will let you eat it all by yourself.” He smiled.

Blaine’s eyes lit up at the prospect and he nodded.  
  
Kurt smiled and kissed Blaine’s forehead. He loved being able to hold his baby so close. It had been a few days since he’d been able to do so, but it felt like a few weeks. It always meant something special to him that Blaine trusted him in that way.  
  
“Let’s get you some spaghetti.” Kurt cooed, taking him to the kitchen and sitting him at one of the chairs, before putting a tray on it with velcro straps that could attach to the arms to make a makeshift highchair. He put a coloring book on it, and some crayons, along with some colorful plastic keys, before going to make the spaghetti.

Blaine kicked his legs as he was wont to do in his headspace. He opened the coloring book and started to color, scribbling completely outside the lines in some cases. Sometimes he tried really hard to color inside of them, but other times, he just didn’t care. This was the case today. He scribbled on the coloring book, without a care in the world, until his masterpiece was complete. He grinned in triumph, before calling out for his Daddy.  
  
“Dada, look!”

“Just a second, baby. Daddy will be right there. Daddy needs to finish pouring out the hot water, okay?”  
  
“Dada, look now!” He demanded.  
  
“Blainey-Boo, you don’t use that tone with Daddy when you want something.” He said warningly.  
  
It was all the fuel Blaine needed to incite a tantrum. He wasn’t far from it anyways. Pitching at least one fit per day seemed to be the usual as of late. So when Blaine began to cry, Kurt didn’t think much of it. Just another part of the game. At least, that what he tells himself.  
  
A truck backfired outside their apartment, and moments of the school shooting flashed before Blaine’s eyes. He doesn’t think of it often, and he’s always done so in his adult mindset. It isn’t often that he cares to anyways, but occasionally, something can trigger flashbacks. Blaine’s crying switched from forced to genuine in less time than it took to bat an eye.  
  
Kurt was still dumping the water into the sink, preparing a response for when he went to Blaine when something shocked him out of it.  
  
“Mama! I want my Mama!” Blaine had sobbed.  
  
The pan hitched in his grip, spilling scalding water onto him as he gave a low hiss of pain and muttered a curse under his breath. He rushed into pouring the water out before he ran cold water over his arm. He’d ice it later. Right now his Baby needed him.  
  
This was an unprecedented set of events. Blaine had never called for his mother in his headspace before. Kurt instinctively thought he might have broken headspace for some reason, but he hadn’t safe worded out either. He wasn’t sure what to do. Talking, of course, was the first step.  
  
“Baby? Can you look at me please?” He asked calmly.

Blaine was currently crying too hard to do that.  
  
“Baby? Tell Daddy what’s wrong.” He tried again.  
  
Blaine just kept going.

Kurt wracked his brain trying to think of what to do. They’d had a conversation about Pam finding out about this a few months back, as his father and Carole already knew. The details were eluding him now, but he thought he could recall Blaine saying that he’d told her about everything but Kurt’s role in the whole thing. Understandably, of course, considering she was married to Blaine’s biological father. However, no interaction in this state had ever occurred. _That_ he knew for certain, considering he always supervised Blaine when he was little.  
  
Well, there was no time like the present.  
  
He hoped that getting her on the phone at least would get Blaine to calm down, so he snuck off to another room and shut the door before pulling out his phone and picking her number from his favorites list. They usually kept in touch fairly well, especially when it came time for the holidays. They often co-conspired to get Blaine the best gifts they could, or they competed with one another in a healthy competition to see who could make him the happiest. Mercifully, it almost always ended in a stalemate.

His phone rang against his ear, and rang, and rang again. Then- at last!- Some noise!  
  
“Kurt?” Pam’s smiling voice came through the speaker. “Is it time to do our holiday shopping already? I swear it gets earlier every year!” She said.

“It almost is Pam, but right now is not the time for that. Blaine is in his headspace and he’s screaming for you.” Kurt said concisely.

“For me?”  
  
“I think he had some kind of flashback, I don’t know, I was in the kitchen, but-“ He opened the door enough to where Blaine’s screeching wails could be heard. “He really needs you. And he’s not responding to me.”  
  
“Can I talk to him?”  
  
“Of course, yeah. Let me get you over to him.” Kurt said, and blocked the bottom of the speaker until he got closer to Blaine. He put her on speaker, then removed his thumb from the bottom of his phone. “You’re on speaker, go!” He called over the sobs.

“Blaine? Honey?” Pam deliberately gentled her voice as she’d done when he was a little boy.  
  
“Ma-ma?” The word was cut in half by him breathing in a choppy way.

“Yes, sweetie.”  
  
“Mama, come no-ow pees.” He begged. “Scared.”

“Mama can’t come right this minute, sweetheart. I can get there in two hours for you.”  
  
That made Blaine dissolve into sobs again.

“Oh Blaine…” Pam sounded so saddened. “I can’t be there for a while, but I can see if your brother could come?”  
  
Blaine looked up, confused. “Bubba?”  
  
“Your brother is visiting a friend there this weekend. You want me to see if he’ll come?”  
  
“Pees!” He whimpered.  
  
“Can you hold on while I talk to your brother?”  
  
“‘Kay.”  
  
Pam put them on hold, and Kurt noted how Blaine sounded like he was trying to draw himself together. He hadn’t acknowledged Kurt yet, and he worried to see that he seemed to be drawing into himself further.  
  
After maybe three minutes, Pam came back on the line.  
  
“Your brother is coming and should be there soon, okay? Give him ten minutes.” She said.  
  
“‘Kay Mama. You come?”  
  
“I’ll be on my way soon.”  
  
“‘Kay.” He said softly.  
  
“Do you want to talk to him?”  
  
“Yes pees Mama.”  
  
“Okay. Hold on a second.” She said, and transferred him over.  
  
“Blaine?”  
  
“Bubba?”  
  
Cooper Anderson had known about this side of his brother far longer than had their mother, and had known all aspects of it, seeing as how he was a much more frequent visitor to their apartment. However, his interactions with Blaine on this level had been limited more to his older headspace. Blaine had been known to age up to around five or six on many occasions, and coincidentally those had been the times Cooper had seen him. Even then, it was “Coo” when Blaine was addressing his brother. The childish term was far more than he’d ever heard coming from his brother, and was a shock to the system.

“Hey. How are you doing?”  
  
“Bubba come now pees, I need hewp.”

“I’ll be there in ten minutes.” Cooper promised. One of the things he’d never quite reconciled himself to was the idea that his little brother could have been hurt in the school shooting that had happened so long ago. If it had happened, he’d known he’d never have forgiven himself. Because of that, He’d resolved to be a better brother to Blaine- if only when he was in his little headspace. He liked to think it made more of an impact that way anyways. When Blaine was in his adult mindset the heavy tension between them tended to linger, but it simply wasn’t that way when Blaine was little. Cooper couldn’t quite tell why. Maybe it was the idea that at that age his little brother looked up to him rather than competed with him. Maybe it was just that Cooper felt secure in the idea that his brother cared enough to tell him about this part of himself in the first place. Whatever the reason, it gave Cooper the confidence that he needed to be a better brother to Blaine.  
  
“Bubba?”  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
“Read story when you come?”  
  
“Sure, kid.”

“Tank you. Mama now?”  
  
“Yep. Lemme get her.”  
  
With that, Cooper made the call a three way.

“Do you want me to stay on the phone until he gets there?” Pam asked gently.  
  
“Pees Mama.”  
  
“Okay, sweetie.”  
  
Pam filled the silence of the next ten minutes expertly, telling Blaine what she was packing. Kurt still held the phone for Blaine, but a shrinking sliver of his consciousness was doing so. Instead, he was thinking about concepts he’d heard about over the years in researching Post Traumatic Stress Disorder in lieu of the incident at McKinley. Dissociation from reality was a distinct possibility. But if he had to guess, he might think that due to his regressed headspace he might only respond to those he knew at that time. He would come out of it, Kurt was nearly a hundred percent certain of that, but it might take a while. In the meantime, he removed the tray from the chair and put it away.  
  
Then, like magic, the doorbell rang.  
  
Kurt thanked Pam for her help and wished her a safe flight as Blaine jumped up from the makeshift high chair and grabbed the door. Cooper Anderson swaggered in with all of his typical overconfidence and shut the door behind him, only to be tackled by his little brother who happily squealed “Bubba!” At his arrival.  
  
“Hey squirt.” Cooper grunted, hugging his brother a little awkwardly from the angle he was at.  
  
“Bubba pway?” Blaine asked, eyes hopeful and curious.  
  
“Sure. Why don’t you go pick something out and I’ll be there right after I settle in.” He said.  
  
Blaine nodded and scampered off, giving Cooper and Kurt a chance to speak.  
  
Kurt filled the eldest Anderson in rapid fire. “He regressed about forty five minutes ago normally, something spooked him fifteen minutes ago, he hasn’t responded to me at all but I’m hoping he will once your mom gets here to calm him down, and she doesn’t know about my role in all of this I don’t think, so unless Blaine says anything, don’t mention it.”  
  
Cooper nodded, setting down his duffel bag. “What should I do?"  
  
“Just distract him. That’s all we need here is a distraction until your Mom gets here. Until then I’m going to finish with dinner."  
  
Cooper patted Kurt a bit too hard on the shoulder, before dashing off to be with his baby brother.

Kurt took a deep breath then rolled his shoulders once before he went to the kitchen. Now that the crisis had been somewhat averted, he could feel the pain of his arm more now. He grabbed some ice from the dispenser and ran it up and down his arm, almost sighing in relief at the numbing effect. Then, he went to the bathroom to get aloe vera to put on it. You never could be too good to your skin, after all. That done, he let that settle a few minutes before washing his hands to finish fixing dinner. Thank goodness he hadn’t started the bolognese yet.  
  
Just as he left the bathroom, he heard the manic giggles of his little boy apparently enjoying time with his big brother. It was all the encouragement he needed to get cooking. The bolognese would take a while anyways. He gathered the pancetta, the chopped yellow onion, the celery, and the carrot, and began to sauté them in a pan with butter, before adding the ground beef, pork, and Italian sausage until it was browned. He put in the clove, some cinnamon, and the pepper, before he added two pounds of tomatoes he’d peeled and chopped and he poured in a cup of milk and added some sea salt before he let it simmer.  
  
That gave him idle time he really didn’t want. Of course, there might be times when the sauce needed to be taken care of, but that certainly would not eat up enough of his time, and wouldn’t be anytime soon. He stuck by the kitchen to keep an eye on it for a bit- someone as well trained as himself in the kitchen would, of course- but all he really wanted to do was hold his baby.

He didn’t do the idea of _helpless_ very well. He never had, as much as he could recall. He might look weak, and he certainly had his weaknesses, but he was never helpless. So the idea that Blaine- the man he loved the most and would love forever- was in need and he couldn’t help him, that was the worst possible torment he could imagine for himself. At least Blaine got somewhat of a reprieve from his own helpless feelings from Cooper being there.  
  
Kurt was kinetically inclined to do _something_. He couldn’t stay still in his thoughts for too long like this. He went to look over the sheet music for Who’s Afraid Of Virginia Woolf again, because he thought that he might have been having trouble with one or two of the notes in the song, but the music notes and the words blurred into an illegible collection of scribbles.  
  
_Blaine was scribbling in his coloring book earlier._

He dropped the sheet music like a hot potato. He couldn’t let himself go down that road. He had to forcibly drive the thought out of his head or it would send him into full scale panic. The activity of cleaning up the sheet music ate a small bit of time, at least.  
  
Rehearsing was clearly not an option. So that left cleaning, which was less fun. He cleaned windows carefully and dusted pictures without looking at them. He hand-scrubbed the oven that they weren’t using because he could be close to the bolognese and do some heavy duty work. That was good, but because he couldn’t do the top portion, it was an incomplete job. So he moved to the bathroom to clean the shower and the toilet, and the bathtub. He didn’t realize he’d begun scrubbing to the rhythm of one of the pieces he’d been looking over today, but it didn’t matter. It was his.

When the bathroom was neat as a pin, he went back to check on the bolognese, and the time was just about up. He went over to the pan and saw that the bolognese was nearly done. He smiled at that and gave it a few more minutes before finally taking it from the burner. Then, he combined it with the pasta, knowing the bolognese would heat and wet it again. When that was done, he looked at the clock. Pam would be there at any time, and that was a relief. A minute closer to her was a step closer to getting his baby back.

He put the pasta aside and cleaned the top inner portion of the oven, now that it wasn’t dangerous, and was happy to hear the doorbell ring just as he’d finished cleaning. He assumedBlaine hadn’t heard it, or else Cooper may have been crushed by him rushing to answer the door. Instead, he was the one rushing to get it open.  
  
Pam Anderson stood there in a V-Neck top and tightly fitted blue jeans, smiling.  
  
“Kurt! It’s so good to see you again.” She smiled, hugging him.  
  
Kurt hugged her. “You too, Pam.”  
  
Pam let go at the same time Kurt did. They were both on the same page- formalities were done, and it was time to get down to business. “Where is he?”  
  
“Our room. He’s been with Cooper the past couple hours.”  
  
“Okay. Thank you.” A brief smile wrought with worry was his reward before she scurried off to the bedroom.  
  
Pam hadn’t ever seen Blaine in his headspace. She’d heard it a few times, even gotten some pictures at one time, but never seen it for herself until she saw her youngest son curled up next to his brother in a small ball, suckling on a pacifier and wearing some footed pajamas and what was clearly a diaper underneath as Cooper read him a story about The Lorax. For a very brief moment, the image of both of her sons young flashed before her eyes, and when she blinked, it dissipated and she smiled. That was the moment when she knew she could handle this.  
  
“Hi sweetie.” She said, smiling.  
  
Blaine’s head whipped around so fast Pam thought for a split second he might get whiplash. His eyes went from hopeful to happy and then teary within a span of a few seconds, and he leapt off the bed, running to his mother and locking her into a hug, sobbing.  
  
“Mama…!”

Pam held him close and stroked his hair. “It’s okay, sweetheart. I’m here.”  
  
“Don’ go! Pees!”  
  
“I’m not going anywhere, sweetie. I promise.”  
  
Blaine sobbed his relief into her shoulder, and she led him to the bed where Cooper was sitting.They exchanged smiles, before she got Blaine into her lap, rubbing his back and whispering to him.  
  
Kurt had seen the whole encounter from the doorway and couldn’t help the stab of jealousy that pierced his heart. He knew this was what Blaine needed right now, but _he_ wanted to be the one to comfort him. _He_ wanted to be needed by Blaine, and the fact that he felt completely dispensable right now was making that feeling worse. He felt like an ugly duckling among swans because not only was he not a part of the comforting, they were all such a beautiful family that it made him feel somewhat inadequate. He would never admit it to anybody, but he was afraid.

He was afraid Blaine would get tired of him, and they would drift apart, and he would end up in the arms of another man again. He was afraid of becoming boring to him, a monotony. And he was desperately afraid that for all the struggle they’d been through together, he would end up being useless to the man he so loved, which was exactly what was happening right now. He had to swallow the bile rising in his throat at the thought, and went to get some water. It was an excuse, at least, to get somewhere to calm himself down and regain his composure before the panic attack that was swiftly on the way tried to claim him.

Unaware of any of this, Blaine was calming down significantly. He liked listening to Mama’s heartbeat when he was scared. The strong, steady thumping always reminded him that somebody was there. He found himself slowly drifting into what his family tended to call his “Blank Slate”. His eyes would be open, but he wouldn’t speak or respond to anyone as his mind cleared itself of whatever was bothering him in a sort of catatonia. It was spring cleaning for his brain, they’d joked. Now, in his mother’s lap, her heartbeat thrumming in his ear, and holding fistfuls of her shirt, he entered that place in his mind where nothing else existed.  
  
Cooper and Pam were well used to that routine, and used the time to catch up with one another. That left Kurt, who had chugged a glass of water to keep from throwing up, and then taken a eucalyptus shower in the interim to try and calm himself down from hitting a panic attack. Mercifully, it had helped. When he’d come out of the bathroom and peeked in the bedroom, Cooper and Pam had still been talking and Blaine looked out of it.  
  
Kurt finally decided to make himself known. “How’s he doing?”  
  
“He was a little weepy with me. Took well to mom, though, and he’s clearing his head now. I read him some stories from when we were kids and it seemed to calm him down, and he wanted me to play with some stuffed dog?”  
  
“Oh, Margaret Thatcher Dog. His favorite toy.” Kurt nodded. “He takes it everywhere.”  
  
Pam smiled. “It’s kind of like the blanket he used to have when he was two. It never left his side.”  
  
“I think I remember that. It was that filthy blue thing, right?”  
  
Pam nodded. “He never let me wash it because it “Wouldn’t smell right” anymore. I snuck it in a few times and he got so angry with me he threw some of the most dramatic tantrums I’ve ever seen.”  
  
“He still can.” Kurt chuckled, and there’s a bit of shared laughter between them, a moment of shared joy within all of the tension surrounding their presence here. Then they all stopped simultaneously, as if they were at a funeral and realized that laughter of any kind wasn’t appropriate.  
  
They attempted to speak to one another, but the conversation was stilted and uncomfortable because of why they were here. With Blaine no longer moving around or talking, they often felt as though they all needed to be still, so more often than not they lapsed into silence.

It takes thirty minutes after Kurt comes in for Blaine to work his way back to reality. Pam feels his fingers twitching at the back of her shirt and smiles at Kurt and Cooper before looking down at Blaine.  
  
Blaine blinks. He blinks, then he opens his eyes and is really there. “Mama?” He asks.  
  
“Hi sweetie.” She smiled, and kissed his forehead.

Blaine smiled at that, but seemed to be looking for something. Kurt could always tell when he was looking for something because of the face he wore. This time, however, Blaine found what he was looking for in Kurt’s face and grinned brightly, Jumping off of his mother’s lap and leaping into Kurt’s.

A wave of relief so intense it nearly knocked him down swept through Kurt as he held his baby close in his arms. All the insecurity he’d felt had been proven false in this moment, and all his theories proven right in it.  
  
Cooper and Pam, of their own accord, left the room for a few minutes to give the two of them some privacy, saying that they’d get things ready for dinner in that time.  
  
“Dada?”  
  
Hearing that word was like hearing the voice of an angel. “Yes, baby?”  
  
“Changie?”  
  
“Of course, Blainey-Boo. Let’s get you changed.” He cooed.  
  
He and Blaine went to the dresser, where Blaine lay atop it, clutching Margaret Thatcher Dog (that he’d picked up from the bed) to his chest. Kurt got busy changing him. He winced when he realized the diaper may have been on a bit too long and might give his baby a rash. He silently cursed himself for not checking that but another part of him argued that it may have worsened things further if Blaine had reacted negatively to that. The sides of himself were at a standstill, but they both agreed that Blaine needed extra baby powder and rash cream, and so he made sure to give both generously. He re-diapered Blaine and got him back in his pajamas, before he looked to him.  
  
“Okay Blainey-Boo. You’re all set. Do you want to have dinner now with your Mama and Bubba?” He asked.  
  
Blaine shook his head. That was code for Kurt to pick him up and cuddle him for a bit, so that was what he did. They sat on the bed, him with Blaine in his lap. Blaine had his head in the crook of Kurt’s neck, holding fistfuls of his shirt.  
  
“Daddy, sing.” Blaine quietly murmured.

Kurt began immediately.

“One evening as the sun went down

And the jungle fire was burning

Down the track came a hobo hiking

And he said, "Boys, I'm not turning

I'm headed for a land that's far away

Beside the crystal fountains

So come with me, we'll go and see

The Big Rock Candy Mountain.””

Blaine sighed, apparently content with that. It didn’t surprise Kurt. They tended to use that song as a lullaby and it was automatically soothing to Blaine. It soothed Kurt too, though not for the same reason. After everything they’d gone through today, it was so comforting to know that finally, he was able to comfort his baby as he’d so desperately wanted to do. If he was able to do it, he’d have tried to live in that moment forever, because the peace and contentment he felt in this instant would be something he’d want to last a lifetime.  
  
Time seemed so funny. It slowed, it stopped, it shot forward, and it pulled backward all the same, all because of the perception of people. If he’d been able to freeze this moment, he would have. But time, unfortunately, went on for them all. Soon they’d have to go out to greet their guests. Soon Blaine would likely try and stumble on his words trying to figure out what to say to his Brother and Mother. Soon Kurt would have to coach him out of his embarrassment. But for now, he would enjoy this moment like it would last forever. Because even if this particular moment couldn’t last a lifetime, he was reassured now that this, what they had, would last forever.


End file.
